Great Tang Idyll – v1-c049 Announcement + Update

Ugh, this is the seriously delayed chapter. I am still figuring out the infrastructure of the new site so I am releasing it on here first. I will continue fighting to free up time and energy to do my translations although they will still be rather sporadic for now because of my situation.

I am doing something a bit different where I will make announcement posts for chapters while the chapter itself will be on its own separate page and linked to in the announcement post. This will help better separate any non-chapter related information I give from the chapter itself.

Here are the links to the chapter:

Great Tang Idyll Vol. 1 Chapter 049 | adfly

If you wish to hear more updates on my personal life, which also doubles as a rant so I don’t go crazy, feel free to keep scrolling down.

This will mostly be a disorganized mess since I am mostly venting and can’t think straight. I can’t really think of a reason for anyone to be interested but it probably helps to explain why though I am trying to resume translation, my output might still not be so consistent. Because of the craziness. Also, it is also directly responsible for this chapter being up later today than it should have been since I kept being interrupted while I was editing… >:[

I am currently not living with my friend anymore and crashing in the living room of the relative (A) who offered me a place to stay. The relative (B) who found me an inconvenience and is the one with actual ownership has mostly stayed to themselves though they will sometimes randomly snap at me (no, wait, they just came over to yell at me and how I’ve let my life come to this so maybe it took them longer to lose their temper about the perceived unfairness of this whole situation and all of their existing issues—it was ridiculous so it would make for another enormous essay so I won’t really go into it right now). However, it turns out relative (A) is probably not going to back up any of the help or support they initially promised. So I am now dealing with the repercussions of that, of which there are numerous.

There is a distinct lack of privacy, which I had been prepared for going in, because relative (A) is mostly active in the living room area where I am crashing. Thus, while I’m working, I have to deal with constant interruptions because relative (A) has decided that I need to be managed and coached by their superior intelligence and experience. So I’m at the limits of my patience in terms of the amount of interruptions when I am working to listen to not so helpful lectures and condescending advice. It’s a bit of an emotional blackmail dynamic at this point where they feel superior for offering to help me when I needed it but at the same time, they think it gives them the right to judge and criticize me. I am one to take advice and all but it’s not really helpful to be told stuff like you’re fat, socially inept, just loafing around, and not motivated to succeed while you’re trying to get back on your feet and working on being independent. It’s kinda hard to accomplish this goal when I’m constantly getting interfered with. Although since I earn money by doing freelance work online, it does look like I am goofing off at the computer when I am not.

I also get the sense that relative (A) has a control complex and wants me to follow everything they say and gets upset if I don’t, taking it as disrespect. However, they also have absurd requests or tend to start arguments with me over ridiculously petty things (once it was about the water pitcher when I forgot to refill it once but they started a fight over something completely unrelated before getting to the point) instead of simply making civil attempts at communication but they aren’t straightforward about it and force me to have to play a guessing game to figure out what they’re really mad about. They also deem themselves an expert on mental illnesses when they are not so I also have to deal with their pop psychology advice. It’s rather obnoxious to deal with someone who fancies themselves a psychologist but has no sympathy or talent for it and is only interested in the area because of the ego boost it brings them. It doesn’t help that I have mostly recovered from the worst of my last breakdown, which my friend had helped out with (note that it took YEARS for to get to this point of recovery), so it only exacerbates relative (A)’s mistaken impression that either I only have a mild case of whatever it is I have or that mental issues are just sooo easy to resolve if you just try hard enough!

Also, relative (A) is now attaching a lot more strings to the help they initially offered to me, which they had made out to be “I will give you any and all the support I can to get you back on your feet.” So it’s a bit of an adjustment to realize that when they say unconditional support, it’s really not. Or at least, there was a very short expiration date on the offer and it had not been made clear that there’d be a gradual creep of abusive/unhealthy behavior starting after the first night of my arrival. I had been prepared for a certain bit of exaggeration but I hadn’t been prepared for how little he would actually follow through on the promise. Also, I didn’t realize how much emotional abuse it would entail, even if they are not aware of what they are doing and think their good intentions justify their bad behavior. It doesn’t help that relative (A) is already floating the idea of charging me rent when I am literally crashing in the living room and it’s only been about a week or so since I’ve arrived (plus, he is proposing an equal 3-way split when I don’t actually have a full 3-way share of the place or any of the typical rights to the place like fridge or pantry space so my food budget has also increased because I’m forced to eat out a lot). That and it is also annoying how hypocritical they are in criticizing my insomnia/night owl tendencies but they also have irregular sleeping schedules, which now affects mine since they turn on the lights in the living room area whenever they’re up and are rather noisy (one of the arguments turned out to be that they didn’t want me to sleep late because that means I wake up later and they then have to be considerate of the fact that I am sleeping when they are up and about—this would be a fair request if they didn’t also go to sleep later than I do, keeping me up with the noise of their activities, but also happen to wake up earlier than I do even if I don’t sleep a full 7-8 hours because they make up for any sleep they miss from not sleeping a full night with an afternoon nap, which is not a luxury I have).

It doesn’t help that both my relatives are not good listeners so though I tell them something repeatedly and with great detail, they only either hear what they want or only retain part of it to fill in the blanks with their own assumptions, which they don’t bother to ask me to correct this negative impression of me that they’ve created all by themselves so I am left unaware of what is brewing in their minds until they decide to create more upheaval and stress for me by randomly starting an argument about it.

I am grateful to have a place to stay, which is mostly thanks to relative (A). It is just that it comes part and parcel with a lot of other factors that questionably create just as many issues as having a roof over my head solves.

So needless to say, I am currently looking for another place to stay. Of course, this is made difficult by the fact that because I believed relative (A)’s offer of help, I moved out of state and across the country to crash on their couch, which also happens to be in one of the most expensive cities in the world to live in (Of course, the benefit is though where I was living had lower costs of living, it was very remote and pedestrian-unfriendly). My circumstances not only mean my choices are limited by my current budget but also require me to be picky as well since I need a degree of stability, security, and privacy as well as convenient access to public transportation because I don’t have a car. So yeah, just trying to deal with this sudden and unexpected emotional rollercoaster when I had been used to relative peace and quiet (which was really useful for my recovery). Anyway, this is a bit of a bummer to write but trying to not let it get me down. Any ideas or suggestions are welcome since I don’t know much about what options are available in the city I’m currently in…

Anyway, end rant. I find it easier to let go of negativity once I vent and I will be able to confront my relatives with a better mental perspective. Here’s hoping things will improve or a better solution comes up…

Advertisements

41 thoughts on “Great Tang Idyll – v1-c049 Announcement + Update

  1. Wow. That’s really depressing ~~.
    I find it hard to endure even just imagining what you’re going through let alone being the one experiencing it, ugh. I hope that you’ll be able to find some peaceful environment soon, really complicated, I mean it as complicated with how to deal with your relatives, makes me irritated just thinking about what they’re doing ~
    ~.

    Good luck to you and hope you fare well soon~ ^^.
    — Also thanks for the chapter~! You’re efforts are something we appreciate and enjoy!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad I was able to get it out at all. It was just super annoying to be trying to finish it up and be so close to publishing and I kept getting interrupted by an argument I knew I wasn’t going to win because the person starting it wasn’t in the mood to listen and didn’t even realize they were just looking for an excuse to take their stress out at someone.

      I’m hoping that despite the obstacles that I’ll be able to return to regular updates. I’ve been slowly finding an equilibrium in terms of my time so fingers crossed!

      Liked by 1 person

      • lol. Well, hopefully you also gain peace in there or somewhere as just thinking about it is simply exhausting both physically and mentally ~_~.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, it doesn’t help that there’s an adjustment period whenever moving someplace new too. All I can hope is that a lot of the difficulties are really that my relatives haven’t made the necessary mental adjustments to accommodate my presence. Even though I try my best to stay out of the way and just work in a corner of the living room, it’s very hard for me to be able to do something about something like relative (B)’s annoyance about having no privacy (because despite having a room of their own where they can just shut their door, it is apparently still a lack of privacy for them because the timing of their schedule and when I’m out and about mean I’m usually there in the living room when they’re at home, which somehow means I’m causing them to lose their privacy because they no longer have the whole place to themselves).

        But thank you for your well wishes. It’s part of the fuel that will help me keep going~! 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      • Yes! Go for it~!
        But do not stress yourself too much in enduring it, you should really know what your limits are in regards to what you are experiencing.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah, I have been at the edge of my limits but I think the work I have done on myself over the years have paid off in that I didn’t let too much of my relatives’ negativity suck me in. It is just some stuff I really can’t control and learning to deal with that. Like some days I really don’t have a lot of energy because I didn’t sleep well at all because of relative (B)’s insomnia causing them to putter around the living room area. The financial burden is probably going to increase because both relatives are now demanding I pay rent so I have to prioritize my budget for that as well. It’s probably unfair to have to pay a full third of the rent when I basically am only allowed a portion of the living room but if it will make them not pick fights with me, I will pay it.

        So basically trying to soldier on and manage to do more translations on the side while I’m at it.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. :/ sorry to hear that… Love your work so far though, and thankee for the update!

    I know it’s none of my business, but it doesn’t sound healthy being around them :/
    I hope everything gets better and that you find a place that allows you to be yourself and to be happier! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for reading through that long rant! I hope things get better for me too. It would certainly make it easier to be more regular with my updates. But I will find a way to keep on going in life and with my translations.

      Liked by 2 people

    • I do, too. It would certainly remove a factor that will likely interfere with my productivity levels when I’ve been working to increase them.

      Thank you for reading and your well wishes~! 🙂

      Like

  3. i don’t know about other but my youngest uncle is something like that too
    dropped out of college to become bike racer or something but then quitting and stay at my home for some times and often in argument with my parents
    i don’t remember how it turns out in the end, but from what i learn is what needed is time and to not stay in one place but often going out of house to experience many thing, try to make some new friends, and become apprentice at some place
    at the moment i think he is at oil palm plantation after he apprenticed at a factory, other time at market or other venture that i don;t quite remember

    good luck and stay sober, stay away from any drug or excessive alcohol

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for sharing your experiences. But don’t worry, I don’t ever touch any drugs or alcohol. They would only make my situation exponentially worse. Most of my situation has been created by unresolved psychological issues even though it sounds just like a trainwreck caused by addiction.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. First: Thank you a lot for this chapter! I was anxiously waiting for your awesomeness to shine once again! ^^

    Second: All I can say to you is regarding your personal life is. I am listening (reading?) and I worry for your well being.
    I would suggest you go on craigslist on a chance of sharing a room with a serial killer to find somewhere to stay, but I guess sharing with a stranger isn’t a good idea given the situation. I can only wish that the city you are living in has the rabbit’s hole apartment style like Japan has, they are usually very cheap, even though really small.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yeah, I’m browsing Craigslist but a lot of it is either way out of my price range or has something that doesn’t fit with my circumstances. At this point, I’ve had better luck receiving the support I need from people unrelated to me compared to the people who ARE related to me (like just a supportive attitude is way more helpful than any financial help sometimes, especially because some days, knowing that someone is there and cares is a life-saver).

      Anyway, thanks for reading and listening. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

      • On the risk of sounding rude and nosy: Have you looked for a support group in this new city? I hear that they can really help and maybe you luck out and also finds a GOOD place to stay meeting people there.

        P.S: I suck at giving advice (especially in English), even though I try and feel that I am only making stuff worst (maybe I should stop o_ó), but please know that I am trying to pass my supportive attitude through my words. I believe you are a strong person because really, I wouldn’t be able to handle the situation you are going through. So keep strong! I believe in karma, good things happens to good people. And I believe you are a good person, so it is just a matter of time to everything works out for you.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks and no, it’s not rude at all to ask. I’ve mostly been settling in but also because it’s back in an urban environment after so long being in such a rural place that I have to be careful since personal safety and security is a lot more of an issue to consider here. I just don’t know what kind of support or interest group I could join that would attract cool people who are also not dangerous or crazy…

        Thank you again for your kind words! It really helps even if I can’t convey how it helps. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Well poor you
    i got head ace just imagin’it
    well live is just cruel and everione have thats time in their live
    hope your live got better soon like you make mi live beter with new chapter out
    and thaks for the chapter

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ayiie…

    I think you need courage (lots of), patience (a helluvalot) and luck… much luck.
    (and $… but that part is harder)

    just to say that I read it, and empathise .

    /courage !

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh god. Imagining staying with people like that really scares me. I couldn’t handle being around relatives like that with such a higher than thou attitude. I probably would have called my parents already and bailed as fast as possible.

    I hope you find a new place soon! And hope Relative A doesn’t end up charging you rent after all for staying the time that you have because it’s sounding like they will.

    I wish you luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! It’s always good to hear from my readers. I’m glad that I separated out my personal update from the chapter release since it would be off topic. Your well wishes are really helpful so thank you so much for them! ❤

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I don’t know much about your hit because i don’t really know you. But staying with healthy relatives can sometimes be a good thing (although this doesnt really sound much like that) when i was going through my worst times (my friend who id lived with for four years and basically spent all my time with turned out to be lying about getting help and suddenly turned dangerous and i had to commit him to an institution) i lost all motivation to work and to be productive and was basically wasting my time on weed and alcohol until my folks picked me up and basically forced me to work and keep regular hours and all that conductive member of society shit that comes from living with two old folks who sleep at 9pm on the dot. I don’t know much about your family situation but it really sounds like you need that kind of healing environment with a bit of strictness and a lot of love and understanding. If you have folks or grandparents look into whether you can go to them and make sure they fully understand that you are on your computer to Work. If you can sometimes its worth getting yourself some shitty little machine to poodle about on while you have a dedicated one for work so people can see when you are in work mode and not just chilling.

    Whatever your circumstances and despite the fact that i dont’t know you i think that what you do is awesome, i love this novel and i think your doing really great whenever you release a chapter even if it takes you a year that would be fine.

    Your awesome your needed and your loved. Peace from the UK and i wish you all the rainbows and sunshine you can handle kiddo.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your encouragement and support. I asked for help from the relative in question, prepared for a matter of strictness but there are some communication issues that I don’t think can be explained by a generational or cultural gap. I will keep managing. I don’t really have anyone else in terms of relatives who can help and the friends who have been of help can really only offer emotional support but they are also busy with their own lives and not geographically nearby.

      I will keep working on the translations though. I am trying to get the new site set up so that is also something that is splitting up my time. Of course, this also means I will likely be reviewing my previously translated chapters for consistency and errors. :-p

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Here are some info that Maybe it can help you
    I think the first step you should took is stop prejudice thought ro your relative, suggest yourself that your relative mean well to you(even if he/she doesn’t). It always happen to me, when my senior in my dorm advice me many thing like he wants to control me, I always being prejudice toward him and always retorting all of his Word in my heart. But now when he is gone, I realize that all of his advice really mean well to me.
    So I suggest you when your relative complaining, giving you advice please listen. Even when your relatives word seems silly, Just bear it and listen carefully, and when you cooled your head then think again what your relative said.

    If you are a believer of a religion, then I suggest you to be a religious person.if you don’t, then pick a religion to believe. Believe me, religion is important because you can have some peace of mind.

    And maybe the tips from.my country when you are staying at relatives house:
    1.never sleep later than the master(in your case, I think earphone and music.instrument might help you sleep early)
    2.always wake up early
    3.if the master ask you for help, always help them with smile and happy
    4, state your objective to the master house and how you’ll do that
    5.help with chores,
    6. If possible, used perfumed. And bath regulerly
    7.if you have some excess for money, you can treat the master house with meal or just some biscuit.
    8. Keep your stuff tidy and neat
    9.always ask permission when using something
    Well there are still many tips, but I think this 9 tips will suffice. Maybe some are relevant some are not with your country.
    Well maybe I have some additional tips for you:
    1. After wake up early, always go for morning jogging. trust me jogging in the morning improve your mood for the whole day and plus I think it will help your mental condition.
    2. If you have some excess money (again) go to the gym, exercise a lot or maybe just use the punching bag. Exercise can help you to vent your stress
    3.go hiking once in a month. Or just go to a place with good scenery.
    4. Oh, search some aroma teraphy that suit you and can relaxed your mind or calm you down.

    Well there is so many stuff Isn’t it. Yeah when you stay at other people place there is so many stuff that you should take care.
    The point is just go try to look from your relative perspective, with his/or her mind set, maybe he/she really mean well for you. In the past I always prejudice to other people, my parents, my friends, my roommate my senior.in my perspective it’s look like they want to control me, mock me, and look down on me. Now I realize that it’s all just in my head. They really mean well to me.
    So I say be positive, look at your cousin with smile and imagine he/she is a nice person and really want to help you

    Like

    • Oh I forgot, be positive toward your cousin is mainly to help your living condition. I don’t know you and your situation but be positive to youtr cousin can help your unbearable situation right now.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for the advice. I will do my best to stay positive. But I think it doesn’t help that they basically are set on interpreting any action or lack of action on my part in a negative light. So either I will need to be patient and wait for them to realize they have the wrong impression or just keep working on getting out of there. It’s just it will take a while.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the advice. Some of it doesn’t really apply to me but I can see that you mean well. Most of my complaints was just venting steam so I wasn’t necessarily working to present it as a logical argument. So I am basically not in it to hold a grudge but to let go of stuff so I could deal with it, instead of holding onto it and letting it unhealthily fester.

      Thanks though for taking the time to read my long rant as well as taking the time to reply and give advice! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hello I hope you going better . GAMBATTE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
        About last comment about gym its the best for put you in better mood and lost weight . Of course I dont like too XD and I dont do it constance for that I will tell you how I lost weight with out gym I leave all sugars (cola , cakes , cookies , etc ) I replaced it with honey for infusions and for the amoun of food , I chance for a lot of vegetables and chance the cookies with fruits. (of course I mising toning body)
        For the most important you issue about place to live in your case I think the best way took a job out in the moment . If you are out you dont have your parient and money to move out (I love your work , but is more fast this way) At least some months to put togheter enough to pay a rent of a room (Of course I dont know the economic there ) , but at least if you have to pay a rent , you pay privacity too with out family XD
        I note you like to write too ,Do you try to write something to sell? If you need other friend to cheer you , I am here . I see you and good luck

        Liked by 1 person

  10. first, thanks for translating this novel, I loved it! 🙂

    I’m not a english speaker, so my words may turn weird.

    from what you said, its seems as if you cant stand those relatives anymore, so I would sugest you to try and find another place where you can find peace, like, find a neighbood not too far from public transportation and others conveniences… when on a place you would like to live in, try asking the locals if there is any place nearby to rent, and explain what you are looking for… there are all kind of ppl out there, but many of them will stop and listen to you and even give advice to help you find a good place. Remember to ask ppl about the security too and the others living necessities like water, power etc (some places have problems with the suppy). btw, never ask only 1 ppl.

    When going to college I used to live with another 3 ppl, it was okay at first, but one of them started creating trouble out of nothing with me, already feed up I dedicated the other day find a good place, it will surprise you the deals you can find when looking for it.

    maintaining a site alone can become too troublesome, time consuming and costly… you may want to try and talk with ppl at ww, gt or other and see if it may be worthy working with them, if all turns out good you may receive a little for doing something that you like/or just a hobby, plus you will not need to worry about getting the translation banned bacause of copyrights and the number of ppl who knows, supports and read this novel will grow too… just a suggestion.

    I wish you luck!

    🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I know this is late and I should have replied sooner. And I am sorry for that. I am hoping and praying that u find some permanent and stressfree place to live. If ranting helps u take out yr negativity then you should go ahead. I wouldn’t mind. Keep fighting. Life is unpredictable. And don’t give up 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Sorry to hear about your situation. Not having a good living environment is horrible both on health and mental well being. I remember when I first move to London with no family, not much savings and yet to find a job. Realising that I will not be able to afford the rent, I approached a charity called Homeshare that helps to match a younger person to live with an elderly person. In return for 10 hours of house chores a week, I live rent free. Not sure if there are similar charities where you live but you can try searching. Either doing house sitting for empty properties for cheap rent or perhaps Homeshare charity where you provide some light housework and company in return for low / free rent. Good luck! Thank you for your work and I enjoyed your translation.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s